Adapting to Life With Food Allergies: One-on-One Dates

Adjusting to a life with food allergies can be HARD. It is hard for the individual, but also for their family members. My little guy’s allergies totally changed our household’s relationship with restaurants, as he initially had no safe restaurants. We have slowly built up a list of  about 6-8 safe restaurants, which continues to grow. At first, though, it felt so restrictive for the rest of us. We needed to find a way to meet the physical and emotional needs of all 3 our kids individually and that meant those needs sometimes had to be met… individually.

A friend of mine mentioned years ago that she and her husband alternate taking each of their kids on one-on-one dates to have quality time with them. It dawned on me that this was the perfect way to balance life with food allergies. We could address each of our kids’ needs by taking them out by themselves to whatever restaurant or event that fits their age, preferences, and dietary restrictions! My husband and I have done this with our kids over the years and have modified it to whatever stage of life we are in. It has been a game changer for us!

What has remained the same through the years is that we plan out how frequently we take each kid out and a set budget we will stick to for that round of “dates”. The joy for all our kids, though comes in the choices!

The Freedom of Choices:

Now that my kids are older, the key attribute of these “dates” is each of our kids chooses for themselves their special outing with the budget allowed. Sometimes it takes guidance to find something that fits the budget, but it has also been a lesson in creative planning, too. I’ll never forget the time my husband and son took as many coupons as they could find in my drawer and went to 3 different fast food restaurants to get as much food as they could for $20. It was hilarious. They came home completely stuffed after hitting up Taco Bell, Culver’s, and KFC with all their coupons!

Siblings:

For my kids with no allergies, this strategy means all the restaurants in the area are open to them if their budget allows. It helps them to not feel resentful of our limited number of restaurants we go to together as a family. They know they will have an opportunity to go to some different places of their choosing on their “dates”. 

Non-Food Outings:

For my kiddo with food allergies, he chooses a special outing he loves, either at one of his safe restaurants or for a food-free event such as bowling or mini golf, which he LOVES. Sometimes my other kids choose to go on a food-free outing instead, too. They love the freedom to choose the special event! My daughter really wanted to go see Wicked over winter break with her friend, so the three of us went together! It was so fun and definitely the perfect girls day out!

Multiple Members with Allergies:

For families that are navigating adults AND kids with food allergies, this may look different. My daughter and I got sushi together on an outing for my mom’s birthday, which was fun and new for us. But I’m not a sushi lover yet and I detest shellfish. We joke that my husband and I were made for each other since he is allergic to shellfish and I hate it. I’ve been thinking that my daughter should go out with my dad to get her shellfish fix! He loves lobster, sushi, shrimp and all those other crustaceans that I can eat…but HATE. Thinking creatively on how we can expose our kids to varying safe foods given our own families allergy-situation can be helpful. If you can’t safely take your kids to a specific type of restaurant, maybe someone else in your circle could do that for you. 

We love to do things as a family and nothing will ever take the place of family movie night, dinner at Chipotle, or the quintessential family road trip. Even when I bring all our own pre-cooked meals along in a huge cooler to make traveling with multiple food allergies feasible. Nothing replaces the memories of a good road trip! At the same time, we can bring a sense of balance AND quality connecting time to each of our kids by taking our kids out individually once in awhile. 

I hope this idea helps you navigate life with food allergies just a little bit easier!